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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The revolution is coming. What side are you on?

So I've noticed something as of late. All right so I've been noticing something for quite some time. It's an unsettling trend in our society that's becoming stronger and stronger every day. I felt like we were being brainwashed for something but I just couldn't figure out what it was.

Until now.

It didn't seem like the pattern really made any sense until I found the final missing piece to the puzzle.

I guess I should start at the beginning shouldn't I? Or at least, the beginning for me (sadly I've found out that this brainwashing started long ago but has taken off as of late!)


So look at the evidence, listen to my argument, and choose a side.


Exhibit A. Vampires:


We've got Edward from "Twilight" which I'm sure you're all familiar with.


And there's the "True Blood" books with it's humor and hunky guys... half of whom are vampires








And there's even the more juvinile (to make sure we start the brainwashing young) "The Littlest Vampire".





Now for Exhibit B. Werewolves:


Of course there's Jacob.



There's Alcide.


And to appeal to a young female audience (spoiler alert) there's Carolyn.



Still with me?


Now we have Exhibit C. Zombies:


The lovable "R" can't really be held accountable for being part of the brainwashing scheme... he's just too likable. But still, I must include him in the list.


I've never seen "The Walking Dead" but I'm sure some people you love get turned into zombies and are then, zombies you feel bad for.




Really the list goes on and I could spend all day on this. But these three peices of evidence aren't really conclusive for some unknown revolution. Want to know the REAL thing that tipped the scales and clued me in to the uprising happening right under our noses?


THIS GUY!



That's right. As the little girl says on "Poltergeist", They're here! Or back I should say. Who let this happen? Who released the Furby again! Didn't we learn from our mistakes last time guys or have you forgotten the Furby uprising only years ago?


Why do you think it is that we're making all of these books and movies about monsters that you just have to love? Why do we suddenly all love monsters?


 Like this!




What is this? Now their brainwashing kids as well?


Do you know what's really going on here? The Furby's have planned their uprising and so they've had to make sure humans love monsters so that when the Furby's take over, we'll all think, "Oh how cute! They're killing everyone! What little monsters".

I'll admit, I am not innocent in the monster love. I just can't help but love the evil A.I. GLaDOS.


But really people. Get a hold of yourself. We must fight back!

And so I ask you now. What side will you choose? Because when it comes to the Furby uprising, you can't be a fence sitter.

Until next time,

Shannen

3 comments:

  1. Shan,
    You are the only one who can post something as crazy as this and make me read all the way through it!
    Although, I'm still Team Jacob!

    P.S. you forgot Stephan and Damon (Vampires) and Taylor (Werewolf-Vampire) on Vampire Diaries!!

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  2. Ooo I'll have to add them to the list! :)

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